Oh what a busy time Christmas is! I've never realised how much hard work it actually is until this year. Usually I'd be working right up to Christmas and straight back to work after Boxing Day but this year has been spent getting ready for Christmas and getting things done around the house.

I've been in recovery mode this week from our little holiday in London last weekend still, and boy have I needed the rest! My tummy has certainly been telling me so. I've been very very down again this week, crying for no reason again and generally not wanting for anything. I was back in my hole again but yesterday I woke up and I had pulled myself back out of it again. I hate that that is how depression works but sometimes you cannot decide how to feel. Especially when times have been tough for so long.

I now only have just over 2 weeks until my surgery. I feel sick with worrying over it and from everything that may or may not come from the the period after. I am trying not to think about it too much for now but I have my pre-assessment next week so I cannot put it too far out of my mind.

Me and the boy have a jam packed schedule this week spending time with both our families and friends. I can't wait to see everyone. This Christmas means more to me than ever before because of the year I've been through - and the year my family have been through. That's one good thing about the bad times - it makes you appreciate those who care for you so much more.

I doubt I will have time to write a personal post again before Christmas so for now I wish you all a very, very merry Christmas. I hope Santa brings you all the treats you wish for and may you all have plenty of rest and recuperation in time for a brand new start to the new year.