Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Love hearts and broken autos


I have to admit, besides the moments alone, moments when I have thought about everything, moments when I have let the badness trickle in to the forefront of my tired mind, overall, I've been feeling much more chipper the last few days. Not so much positive, but better than I had been feeling. I've felt myself enjoying things again, getting excited about plans we have for this year and, in general, getting things done.

I feel a lot more mobile. Instead of curling up in pain everyday with my heat pad, I've actually been able to move around and do things for myself. I've still been having toilet problems and it still hurts a lot during the night. The last few nights in particular have been very bad. I've woken repeatedly from my sleep in more pain than usual and my tummy has been very swollen. But the daytime's are easier. And that's one thing to be happy about.

Last week I spent some time with my mama, which I always love, and it did me the world of good. It reminds me that she needs me so much - as much as I need her - and neither of us are alone in our feelings. The past year hasn't just been bad for myself, it's been bad for everyone around me too, but more so than anyone, my mama. She always pulls me out of my hole when I need it.

Danny was poorly with a bad cold for a few days so he spent some time resting at mine. I had been nagging away at him to make sure he got me a Valentines Day card because he is so against it! Anyway, Valentines Day came around and I got a beautiful card from him. His card, on the other hand, had decided to go walkabouts! I had moved it to a safe place but then when it came to giving it to him, I just couldn't remember where this 'safe place' was! I felt terrible for making such a fuss but he knows I love him. He doesn't need a card to tell him that. But, next year, he'll be getting a a doubly big card to make up for it!... Unless, of course, I put that away somewhere for safekeeping too!

I stayed at Danny's house over the weekend. It was nice to have a change of scenery! We didn't do too much, but on Sunday, which was a beautiful day weather wise, we decided to head to our favourite car boot over in Melton. Unfortunately, we got half way there and Danny's car decided to give in on us, so we had to wait for the AA to come and pick us up and tow us back home! It wasn't exactly what we had planned on but luckily it turns out it's not going to cost as much money as we had initially anticipated which is great news. Back home we decided to have a wander in town, since it was still before lunchtime. I must have come back with the most boring bag of things ever... Bin bags and plain pillow cases - exciting ha!? But it was nice to get out and although Danny's mama and papa dropped us in town, I did manage to walk all the way back! I was quite proud of myself.

I haven't got much planned for this coming week, just getting bits and bobs done and seeing mama. But I'm excited about the weekend. I'm going to the football on Friday night with Danny and then on Saturday night we are having a night out to celebrate Danny's birthday. I'm really looking forward to it!

Danny said my recent posts were getting boring because I have been so down so I hope you can all see some positivity shining through now. I think I might be on my way finally.

S.
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  1. Hi, I am Shireen's Mama and so so so proud to have such a lovely daughter. I don't alway's get to read Shireen's blog's immediately but when I do I realise what a wonderful person she is, she has suffered so very much since the Endo started, I have seen her on many occasion's crying and actually screaming with the pain of it, her father and the boy have gone through the pain with her and felt totally useles as to what they can do for her. What can us mum',dad's and boyfriend's do except be there for her let her talk , give her big cuddles and good food rub her tummy when nesessary and don't feel hurt when she pushe's you away some time's.It is all so overwhelming for her, think she is only 29 and has really had very little life to get out with her friend's and enjoy herself. We love her so much and I would certainly give my right arm if it would make her better. I personally don't think there is enough known about this dreadfull desease and as Shireen has said we welcome all your case history's on Endometriosis, let's get out there and get this desease highlighted. To end may I as Shireen's mum wish every single one of you girl's and ladie's out there as much of a pain free life as is possible, bless you all for what you go through constantly. Love to my beautiful Shireen and thank you for being there for me over the last few traumatic month's. I am so proud of you babe. xxxx

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